Christianity and Sexuality: Perfect Bedfellows
In February of 2007, I wrote an article entitled “Our Illusive Search for Intimacy.” You can read it HERE. Though I intended to use the word “elusive” in the headline - implying that intimacy often ELUDES us - I inadvertently substituted the word “illusive,” defined as “being based upon or having the nature of an illusion, such as, illusive hopes of finding intimacy. Both words actually applied as intimacy DOES elude many while others often fall for the illusion of intimacy in one of its many counterfeit forms.
Frankly, I goofed, but it was a flub that worked.
I have a sister online, a friend named Dena Brehm, who was recently - suddenly and unexpectantly - flown to New York from Oregon, along with her husband, Mark, to discuss, of all things, Christianity and Sex. You see, thanks in great part to a web-based ministry called TheMarriageBed.com, established by Paul and Lori Byerly (you may know them from House2House.com), the Brehms have a healthy handle on the sexuality of Christianity.
Do you?
Seems Christians are flocking to the “Marriage Bed” website and somebody from the New York FOX News affiliate got wind and decided to interview the Brehms.
I have long contended that the enemy uses our ineptitude at Communication, Sex and Finances to eat away at our most important ministry - that which we have to our spouses. Sex was God’s idea and, like everything else, Satan attempts to twist it by way of his attacks against our mind, will and emotions, making miserable failures of us, men and women.
Be of good cheer: his efforts are NOT beyond Christ’s redemption.
Following are excerpts from Dena’s trip to New York complete with a LINK to portions of the interview. I pray that it will bless you - no matter HOW long you’ve been married. Read it. Pass it on. Someone out there NEEDS this information!
Here’s Dena:
It was a whirlwind of a trip…Mark and I met up at the FOX off-site studio at about 11:00PM… for a series of interviews…Much happens back-stage… two of the make-up artists, and one of the tech crew were believers, who pulled us aside, asking, “So, what IS ok for married Christians to do regarding sex? No one in the Church will talk about it!” Others were incredulous, “What? God? Sex? In the same sentence? What a concept!”
…Once on the set, it was a hyped-blur … we didn’t realize ’til that morning that we’d be on stage, with Paul and Lori [Byerly] in the audience… they wanted to focus on a couple who had been impacted by The Marriage Bed — and yeah, boy-howdy, we’ve been impacted..! Paul and Lori were front-and-center in the audience, and they got to speak about The Marriage Bed a bit (& their own past marriage struggles, which led to TMB) — and the website has been featured both live, and on the show’s website… …There was SO much more that I wanted to say during the show, but we had NO control over it — had to go with Mike’s direction (I want it noted that he said “orgasm” first, not me, not that I wouldn’t have, but I didn’t … I promised my mother!).
…My parents always told me the truth, and let me know they enjoyed sex. My twisted thinking came in due to the mixed messages I got from the media, the erroneous (& largely silent) stance of the historic (& contemporary) Church-at-large, the specific teachings of some particular churches, and my own promiscuity prior to marriage — like Augustine, I lumped sex, pleasure and sin together, and renounced it all, when I got married. I polarized “holiness” and “sex” in my thinking … which is, sadly, an all too frequent occurrence within many Christian marriages.
Here’s the link for the show:
(NOTE: If that doesn’t work, go to www.mandjshow.com - click on “videos” — you may have to quickly download the adobe-flash video software — a prompter will appear if that’s the case for you. If you still have trouble, it’s under “Hot Topics”, and the specific video is “More Faith Equals Better Sex.”)
Unfortunately, this is only half of it (& edited a bit) — we had two segments, the second one shared with Joe Beam (a wonderful sex-preaching pastor who also does live seminars). I wish y’all could hear what he has to say — he’s articulate, non-threatening, hysterically funny, and a wonderful spokesman for God’s gift of sex in marriage. It was during that segment that the host suddenly turned to us, and asked us to talk about how our former church reacted to how God had healed us, sexually. Mark spoke then, stating, briefly, that our church, like much of the Church-at-large, doesn’t know what to do with the subject of sex — that they didn’t know how to handle it, and so, they just “wanted us to go away” — that Mark was asked to choose between his ordination and his wife, and he chose his wife, hands-down. There was much applause at that point. We didn’t get to go into any details (by choice, not wanting to damage others), and didn’t get to discuss how we’d worked through (& continue to work through) the issues of healing and forgiveness in that area.
All in all, I believe God enabled us all to speak a positive message about God’s gift of sex to the Body of Christ — that He wants us to have holy AND passionate relationships, that He is pro-pleasure, pro-sex, and that we, as a Body, must not let shame keep us from speaking truth about this gift.
Thank you all for your prayers!!!
Shalom,
Dena
Thank you, Dena, Mark, Paul and Lori…God is REALLY going to use what Satan intended for evil in your marriages to change the marriages and perspectives of MANY more people - as individuals, couples…and hopefully, Christians everywhere.
Now, pass it on!
Every blessing,
Michael Tummillo
A servant of God
