yourtown4jesus.com

Behind the Veil of Porn

I became acqauinted with Shelly Lubben’s ministry when she inquired about posting one of my messages on her web site. The article was entitled “Pornography: Dethroning the God of the Bod.” (Google it) In a recent article that I wrote, entitled “Let’s talk about Porn,” I went to Shelley’s BLOG for research and found a wonderful letter posted there (SEE BELOW) written from Shelly to those bound with Porn Addiction. The response to my article, “Let’s talk about Porn,” has been notable; I’ve never seen any of my messages climb the charts so rapidly! One Christian after another have shared stories with me related to porn. Whether it was the woman whose husband was so bound by porn that he was neglecting her and forcing her to go “fishing” for compliments and attention from others, or the young man who was sexually molested by his Youth Minister for many years who, in turn, molested his siblings, or the man who left a porn video in his DVD player and awoke the next morning as his three duaghters, all under age 10, were eating their cereal in their pajamas, watching that video, the sad cases go on and on.

I’m convinced there are many who could use the encouragement that Shelley’s letter might provide. Forward this to everyone on your list! Someone you know may be struggling with this secret sin.

In case you don’t think so, take a look at these frightening statistics of a glimpse of this secret sin. Read ‘em and weep:

* 60% of all website visits are sexual in nature
MSNBC Survey 2000

* The No. 1 search term used at search engine sites is the word “sex”. Users searched for “sex” more than other terms such as “games,” “travel,” “music,” “jokes,” “cars,” “weather,” “health” and “jobs” combined. The study also found that “pornography/porno” was the fourth-most searched for subject.

Alexa Research

72 million: The approximate number of unique visitors to adult websites in 2006, per month, worldwide.
420 million: Total number of porn pages.
40 million: The number of U.S. adults who regularly visit porn websites.
Internet Filter Review

* A 2000 MSNBC.com survey found that as many as 80 percent of visitors to sex sites were spending so much time tracking down erotica on the computer that they were putting their real-life relationships and/or jobs at risk. “Until they discovered cybersex, most of these people had no problems with sexual addition”, according to the survey’s author, Al Cooper, a sex therapist at the San Jose Marital Services and Sexuality Center in San Jose, Calif.

* 77% of online visitors to adult content sites are male. Their average age is 41 and they have an annual income of $60,000. 46% are married.
Forrester Research Report, 2001

* Hollywood currently releases 11,000 adult movies per year – more than 20 times the mainstream movie production.
LA Times Magazine, 2002.

* 1/3 of 13 year old boys in Alberta, Canada admitted to viewing porn.
From a University of Alberta Study, March 2007, as reported by
thegatewayonline.ca.

* 87% of university students are having sex over webcams, instant messenger or the telephone.
Reuters, Ontario Canada, February 16, 2006.

* 17% of all women struggle with porn addiction
* 1 of 3 visitors to all adult websites are women
* 9.4 million women access adult websites every month
Internet Filter Review

* 42 percent of surveyed adults indicated that their partner’s use of pornography made them feel insecure.
Marriage Related Research, Mark A. Yarhouse, Psy.D. Christian Counseling Today, 2004 Vol. 12 No. 1.

* 41 percent of surveyed adults admitted they felt less attractive due to their partner’s pornography use.
Marriage Related Research, Mark A. Yarhouse, Psy.D. Christian Counseling Today, 2004 Vol. 12 No. 1.

* August 7,2006: 50% of all Christian men and 20% of all Christian women are addicted to pornography. 60% of the women who answered the survey admitted to having significant struggles with lust; 40% admitted to being involved in sexual sin in the past year; and 20% of the church-going female participants struggle with looking at pornography on an ongoing basis.
From the results of a ChristiaNet poll reported by Marketwire.com

*34% of female raeders of Today’s Christian Woman’s online newsletter admitted to intentionally accessing Internet porn in a recent poll.

* 47% percent of families said pornography is a problem in their home.
Focus on the Family Poll, October 1, 2003.

* In a survey of over 500 Christian men at a men’s retreat, over 90% admitted that they were feeling disconnected from God because lust, porn, or fantasy had gained a foothold in their lives.
As reported in an article on Pastors.com by Kenny Luck.

In March 2005 Christianity Today published the results of a study called “Christians and Sex” in their Leadership Journal. 680 pastors and 1,972 laypersons were surveyed, with the following results:
* 44% of churchgoers want to hear more scriptural teaching from their pastors on the subject of sex.
* 22% of pastors feel they should spend more time on the topic.
* 85% of pastors say they speak about sexual issues once a year, while 63% of churchgoers say their pastors do so. Among those churchgoers who say they want their pastors to preach more about sexual issues, 47% say their pastor speaks about it once a year, an even bigger difference of opinion. A CTI analyst was quoted saying “Perhaps this desire for more biblical exposition on sexual issues exists because pastors are not speaking forcefully or clearly enough, while exposure to sexual images and messages in today’s media is ever more heightened.”
* 57% of pastors say that addiction to pornography is the most sexually damaging issue to their congregation.
* Almost 9 in 10 pastors reported counseling a layperson on sexual issues once a year or more (* A 1996 Promise Keepers
survey at one of their stadium events revealed that over 50% of the men in attendance were involved with pornography within one week of attending the event.)

A nation is only as strong as its Church. The Church is only as strong as its families. Our families are only as strong as our marriages.

Every blessing,

Michael Tummillo

A servant of God

www.YourTown4jesus.org

How To Beat Porn Addiction
by Shelley Lubben, Ex-Porn actress

Dear Precious Ones,

I receive many emails from all of you saying you are at your wits end so I am writing this letter to encourage you. I am so sorry you feel life is depressing and pointless. Yep, I’ve been there MANY times. I was depressed, suicidal, and wanted to give up.

But then SOMETHING happened.

A shift. A change. I started to understand God’s real intentions for my life and 12 years later here I am full of joy, vision, destiny, and having a blast in life!

I remember a few years back I asked God “Why did it take SO LONG to help me? Why did I feel like I was talking to a wall for all those years?”

I understand now what I didn’t understand then.

It paid off for me to suffer longer in the world in order to later help thousands of people NOW. If God had rescued me right away, who could I help now? How could I fulfill my true purpose without the understanding of deep suffering? How could I know compassion if I myself hadn’t been afflicted? How could I love you and not judge you if I hadn’t sinned so greatly?

“Ahhhh, I understand now”, I said to God.

You’ll never understand how much I feel your pain. Don’t you know that you are not alone? Don’t you know that Jesus knows your pain too? He’s the one who bore it all on the Cross for you. Him and I together understand and are VERY familiar with your pain. Jesus, who knows your pain better than anyone, is right there with you. In fact, I believe you can feel His presence even now as I write this to you.

So listen to me dear sweet porn addicts. Why don’t you try doing something different than you’ve ever done? Why don’t you just surrender the porn addiction to God? Don’t strive to quit in your own power anymore. REST IN THE LOVE OF JESUS. Everyday wake up and say okay God I will rest in You. I will wake up everyday and pray and seek You God until I am free. I won’t be mad at myself anymore if I fall. I will choose to LEAN on you, to depend TOTALLY on you and your provision for my life. I will seek you in the midst of my addiction.

That’s what I did. I went to church, surrounded myself with excellent people, read the Bible, told the devil to get out of my life, stayed away from triggers, and then I’d slip and get drunk or have lustful thoughts and want to act out. I got back up, asked for forgiveness and continued to pray, read the Bible, listened to Champion CD’s, and then I’d fall again. The point is, while I was in my addiction, I went after God. I was SO desperate that I literally wrestled with God like Jacob in the Old Testament and I didn’t let Him go until He blessed me. And through it all I developed great character and strength because I WRESTLED WITH GOD.

I don’t condemn you if you fall and look at porn. I care more if you read the Bible, if you pray, if you practice God’s principles, if you pursue Him in the midst of your pain. If you go after God with all your heart and all your strength, the addiction will go. I promise. I say to all of you, STOP TRYING TO BREAK THE HABIT OF PORN. That’s right. INSTEAD, make NEW HABITS. James 1:25 in the Bible (Phi) “But the man who looks into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and makes a habit of so doing, is not the man who hears and forgets. He puts that law into practice and he wins true happiness.”

Make a new habit of keeping a bible OPEN with verses such as Philippians 4:13 that says I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH HIM WHO STRENGTHENS ME. Highlight that verse. In fact, have several Bibles open with highlighted scriptures. Next time you look at porn you say that verse at the same time before, during and after you fall. Practice over and over and over this new habit. Ask God to forgive you when you fall and He will. Don’t you know that God is FOR YOU and not against you? Jesus died to give you freedom to make mistakes while you grow stronger in the ways of God. Make every effort to turn away from porn by TURNING TOWARD GOD and practicing His ways.

Start telling the devil to get his hands off your life in the name of Jesus. You have great power because of what Jesus did for you on the Cross. If you stay in the Word, you will learn about your authority in Christ to cast the evil one out of your life. Jesus said all power over heaven and earth has been given to Him and He gave it to us, His followers. We take authority over the devil by using the name of Jesus. The Bible tells us that the name of Jesus is above all names and that every knee has to bow, that means the devil too. But the only way to know what power you have through Christ is to READ HIS WORD DAILY.

Keep a teaching CD in your CD drive that you can pop in when you get tempted to view porn. THE STRATEGY IS TO FILL YOURSELF UP WITH SO MUCH TRUTH THAT THE PORN LIE GETS PUSHED OUT. Don’t pull the porn out, PUSH IT OUT WITH THE TRUTH OF GOD’S WORD.

Hebrews 4:12 states: For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.

The Bible is LIVING and IT CAN KILL THE ADDICTION and at the same time give you great character. Do you understand what I am saying then? Don’t fight the porn, instead INHALE the word. SHOVEL the Word of God into your heart by listening and reading. Go nuts and listen to the Champion teachings I offer them for free at www.shelleylubben.com/trainingforchampionlife.html . It’s worth it to spend the time filling up on God’s Word. YOUR LIFE IS WORTH IT. Listen to those teachings a few times a day. All through the day. Heck, you play those teachings when you’re tempted to look at porn. Pour the truth of God in! Plant the seeds and soon the fruit will burst forth!! I also want you to put Scriptures all around your computer that you have typed up and have BIG LETTERS so when you look at porn, you say those Scriptures at the same time you are looking at porn. Look on my resources page and or click here for my powerful prayers at www.shelleylubben.com/prayers.html that are actually Scriptures you can pray. I used the same Scriptures to get free!

Also, it’s time to come clean about your addiction. I got real honest with God, my Pastors, myself and my husband. I couldn’t have stayed isolated and recovered. It wouldn’t have worked. Why don’t you come clean and get some help from a ministry specifically geared toward helping people get “unstuck” from pornography? Go to my resources page at

www.shelleylubben.com/resources.html and check out all the web sites I have listed under the Help sections. Most of the ministries are run by men and women who have already “been there” and understand what you’re going through. These ministries offer powerful tools for you to get free and get restoration from God into your life!

If you diligently do these things above, you’ll be free from porn addiction soon. The trick is you have to CHOOSE to do these “new” things wholeheartedly with all your strength. It’s not the chances you take in life it’s the CHOICES you make in life that determine your destiny.

God loves you but He is more interested in developing your character and than him just zapping you and taking the addiction away. That’s not to say he won’t and can’t heal you instantly, He can, but most of us need to learn character so that way we don’t fall into Satan’s trap again. I learned endurance, perseverance, consistency, integrity, and developed a great love for God through it all. I also learned how to stand against the devil with power. I am thankful God didn’t zap me but instead He taught me how to be a Champion. Not only am I free, but I am STRONG and free.

Don’t break old habits. Too hard. MAKE NEW HABITS. I went to school, learned computer design, started volunteering at church to help others, spent intimate time with God, listened to Champion CD’s, practiced what I learned, put Scriptures on almost every wall of my house and studied the Bible day and night. I went after God even when I had a bottle of vodka in my hand!! I never gave up and today I am totally free from my past!

I was a defeated suicidal prostitute and porn actress. Now I am a POWERFUL FORCE FOR GOD and able to stand strong through any storm life brings. I can do anything with God! I could never be the powerful woman I am today without the suffering and character building I have been through.

God takes our mess and turns it into His message. He takes broken people and turns them into Champions who are called to impact and influence the earth for His glory. He will use every ounce of pain you have experienced to help others someday. That’s the beautiful redeeming power of Jesus Christ.

You WILL rise up and be great and you will learn many wonderful things through the journey.

If you CHOOSE to DO these things I have written, you will have great success because God’s Word promises in Joshua 1:8-9 that if you “Do not let this Bible depart from your mouth; if you meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”

God is with you wherever you go. Be strong and courageous and NEVER NEVER NEVER GIVE UP. Come hell or high water, I never ever EVER give up.

I never stop praying for all of you.

I love you,

Shelley - Read more of Shelley’s blogs at http://www.shelleylubben.com/blog/index.php